WATCH BOX OFFICE MOVIES FOR FREE
Confession: I Went To See Hotel Artemis Thinking It Was A Kids Movie About A Clock
I have a confession to make. I went to the movies over the weekend, and it was one of the most disorienting, confusing and frankly, embarrassing experiences of my entire life. You see, I went to see Hotel Artemis, only I saw the wrong movie. Now, I paid for the right movie. Unlike Dwight Schrute, I even went into the right theater. I just didn't see Hotel Artemis. Or, well, actually, I saw a movie called Hotel Artemis, it just wasn't the movie my brain thought was called Hotel Artemis.
This is getting complicated so let's back up.
It all started on Saturday morning. My wife asked if I wanted to go see Hotel Artemis, and I immediately agreed. I saw the trailer awhile ago, and it was delightful. Live action movies for kids are my jam. Cate Blanchett is one of the best alive, and I'm back on Team Jack Black after he made me laugh out loud several times in Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. All kinds of in. I'm pretty sure everyone else in the world is too. I mean, look at how much fun the trailer for Hotel Artemis is...
Now, you see how like 5 seconds into the trailer for Hotel Artemis, it says The House With A Clock In Its Walls? Apparently it says that because the movie is actually called The House With A Clock In Its Walls. It is not, in fact, called Hotel Artemis, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with Hotel Artemis. I'm a strong man. I'll step up and admit that's on me. When I watch a trailer for a movie, I should file all of that footage away inside my brain drawer with a label that has the proper title to prevent confusion. I did not do that in this case. So, once again, my B. I'm raising my hand to admit I may have made some mistakes here, but I can't beat myself up all year about it. It could have happened to anyone.
Anyhoo, I went inside the theater, waiting to see Hotel Artemis presents The House With A Clock In Its Walls, and suddenly, I was hit with a first jarring and confusing clue that maybe something was off. One of the trailers used the word "Shit." I'm a pretty open guy when it comes to swearing. If you need it to express yourself and it starts with an "f" or an "sh" or a "c" or whatever letter other bad words start with, then that's your business and you should do you. But a hard "shit" before a "PG" movie was still alarming to me. Whatever. I didn't question it too much because like Truman Burbank, I accepted the reality of the world in which I was presented.
Then the movie started and it was just chaos. I mean do you know what Hotel Artemis, like the real Hotel Artemis, is about? Watch this trailer right quick...
The movie opens with a riot. Then there's a bank robbery. People are just getting shot up left and right. Not like cartoon violence or underplayed violence either. When people get shot, blood actually comes out of their wounds. This is all within the first 15 minutes. So, I looked over at my wife who is sitting next to me, and I said, "How is this a kids movie?" And she looked at me like I was crazy and said, "It's not a kids movie." You would think at this point it would have all clicked, and I would have shouted, "OHHH Hotel Artemis!" I did not. There was no clicking. So then the characters actually get to the title Hotel Artemis, and there is no frigging clock, and there's no precocious kid trying to solve a mystery and save the day. There's only more criminals and death. So, I leaned over to my wife and said, "Where the hell is Jack Black?" And then it all came crashing down via 90 seconds or so of hushed whispers in which my mistake was fully laid bare. Jack Black was not coming.
You can make fun of me if you want for this little snafu. Lord knows my wife has and probably will continue to, but I have to admit, there was something utterly amazing about watching a movie with expectations being subverted at every single turn. Even after I found out Hotel Artemis wasn't The House With A Clock In Its Walls, I had no idea where this thing was going or even who it starred. So, imagine my surprise when a new all-world supporting actor strolled in every 15 minutes. Sterling K Brown. Jodie Foster. Charlie Day. Sofia Boutella. Dave Bautista. Jenny Slate. Zachary Quinto. Even Jeff Goldblum uhhh found a way into Hotel Artemis.
Long story short: I enjoyed Hotel Artemis. 3.5/5. Could have used more Jack Black.
David Harbour Says To Stop Asking Guillermo Del Toro How He Feels About The Hellboy Reboot Movies June 8, 2018 No Comments While many Hellboy fans are excited to get a new movie based on the popular character, they're also disappointed they won't see an end to Guillermo del Toro's planned trilogy.
What Guillermo Del Toro Thinks Of David Harbour As Hellboy
New Avengers: Endgame Trailer Has Iron Man And Captain
The crew here at CinemaBlend has seen the new action/horror title and while, like most things, we don't agree perfectly, the general consensus could be summed up as, "a fun time with a movie that has some serious problems." In my review of The Predator for CinemaBlend, I summed it up like this…
What CinemaBlend Thought Of The New Sequel - 247
Avengers: Endgame Already Has A Disney+ Release Date May 8, 2019 cinemablend Leave a Comment 5 minutes ago It's been nearly two full weeks since Avengers: Endgame started playing in theaters, and it's not leaving the silver screen anytime soon.
Avengers: Endgame Streaming Has a Release Date, Is a Disney
In fact, the two kept dissolving into giggles, which made shooting the Fifty Shades Freed wedding scene particularly challenging. According to Jamie Dornan's account of filming , It's very strange
Dakota Johnson Revealed How They Film Sex Scenes For "Fifty
Feb 08, 2018 · Attention, Todd McFarlane and Blumhouse. Your thunder may have been stolen. Plays Like The Low-Budget 'Spawn' Reboot We've Been Promised as a jaded landlady who looks like WWE veteran
Why Thor Was Almost Used Less In The Avengers Nick Evans. 1 year ago. Random Article Blend. It is strange to think that a little over 10 years ago there were serious doubts about the viability and
Why Thor is the Key to the MCU After Avengers: Endgame
Ready Player One Synopsis. OASIS creator James Halliday left his immense fortune and control of the Oasis to the winner of a contest. When Wade Watts conquers the first challenge, he and his friends are hurled into a fantastical universe to save the OASIS and their world.
Ready Player One | Buy, Rent or Watch on FandangoNOW
ANT MAN - Action Figure - Handmade Vinyl Record Wall Clock - Get unique garage wall art décor - Gift ideas for men, father, boyfriend - Unique comics art design - Customize your clock ! $27.85 $ 27 . 85
How Hasbro Makes Action Figures Look Just Like Movie Stars
As the media landscape continues to change, and an exponentially increasing amount of content competes for our dollars, it takes a lot to make a splash. Yet a cannonball-sized spl
Disney's first streaming film coming to NM - NM Film News
How a Star Wars Poster Ruined John Boyega's Date. By Patrick Cavanaugh - March 2, 2018 09:40 am. While the actor might have had a tougher time finding love in the real world,
John Boyega Net Worth 2018 - How Rich is the Star Wars Star
Final Destination's Devon Sawa had a strange coincidence occur on the 19th anniversary of the popular thriller film. Sawa's character in the film, Alex Browning, has a premonition of his
Final Destination's Devon Sawa Had A Scary Coincidence On Its
Is Shazam! OK For Kids? Here's What The Director Says
Marvel Cinematic Universe timeline: How to watch every MCU film and TV show in chronological order. Endgame. Jack Shepherd Ragnarok is perfectly balanced both as a standard Marvel movie
How To Watch Every Marvel Cinematic Universe Movie In
What The Ending Means. Glass ends with Mr. Glass' mom receiving the tapes with evidence of David Dunn and Kevin's powers, which soon make their way to the internet and the subject of breaking news stories on television. Mr.
Glass Ending Twist: What Happens, and What it Means - YouTube
crazy rich asian watch movie online
watch movie online thai
i can only imagine watch movie online
the worst horror movie ever made watch online
venom watch movie online free
watch movie online black panther
watch movie online crackle
mulk watch movie online
geetha govindam watch movie online dailymotion
watch this is it free online full movie
telugu watch movie online
dhadak watch movie online dailymotion
watch movie online paid
sonu ke titu sweety watch movie online
watch movie online streaming free hd
free watch movie online
where to watch padmavati movie online
watch movie online devdas
watch would you rather movie online free
watch movie online new
badhaai ho watch movie online
i know what you did last summer watch movie online
watch movie online yo
watch movie online october
get out watch movie online
how much mb does it take to watch a movie online
f2 watch movie online
hollywood watch movie online
watch movie online hollywood hindi dubbed
watch movie online tv
best worst movie documentary watch online
watch online movie qismat 2018
watch movie online tamilrockers
where to watch movie online
worst woman korean movie watch online
watch movie online manje bistre 2
watch telugu movie is online
watch movie online sites
unfaithful watch movie online
natpe thunai watch movie online
til death do us part watch movie online
dil junglee watch movie online
you will be mine (2009) hollywood movie watch online
watch movie online zero dark thirty
good will hunting watch movie online
watch movie online on iphone
watch movie online on hotstar
qarib qarib singlle watch movie online
fifty shades darker watch movie online free
deadpool watch movie online
how to watch movie online bollywood
when should i watch the sword art online movie
watch movie online jawani phir nahi ani 2
ek tha tiger watch movie online
watch movie online free streaming xxi
watch movie online bajirao mastani
www.watch movie online 123.com
dilwale watch movie online
kadaikutty singam watch movie online
watch movie online thugs of hindostan
chandni chowk to china (2009) watch movie online
watch movie online sub indonesia
best way to watch movie online for free
watch movie online qismat
watch movie online with friends
i tamil watch movie online
watch movie online with indo sub
ee nagaraniki emaindi watch movie online
watch movie online.org
watch movie online modi
zootopia watch movie online free
malayalam watch movie online
jab tak hai jaan watch movie online
satyamev jayate watch movie online
you should meet my son movie watch online
watch movie online malaysia
watch movie online archives
the watch movie online
why did i get married movie watch online
watch movie online free indonesian subtitle
watch online movie x-men apocalypse
watch movie online on mobile
watch movie online.org.pk
how to watch movie online
watch movie online venom
elf watch movie online
watch movie online unfaithful
where to watch hindi movie online
tumhari sulu watch movie online
thugs of hindostan watch movie online
watch online movie of tiger zinda hai
how do you watch movie online
#movielovers #grease #social #invite #thatsofetch #nollywoodactor #Entertainment #cya #musical #watch #LuciferNetflix #filmreview #didiconn #newnollywoodmovie #olivianewtonjohn #meangirls #Lucifer #ComedyMovies #fetch #johntravolta #hollywood #teencomedy #classic #nollywoodstar #usa #lindsaylohan #dance #dannytrejo #movie #highschool #nyc #pinkladies #america #Shows #paramount #pinkjacket #featurefilm #movienightlive #pinklady #MyDeshFilmidesh #Events #fun #canada #billoberst #slumberparty #horror #thriller #party #cyalive #newnollywoodmovies #JohnSingleton #sunday #deadly #gettogether #live #musicals #summernights #mothersday #thrillflix #Movies #Plays #Cookery #Cast #gregoryblair #mothersdaygifts #weekendmovies #online #watchtogether #newnollywood #tgif #LuciferSeason4 #Marathi #milanacoco #gomorra #entertainment #fridayspecial #weddings #nollywoodactress #Filmidesh #newmovies #tinafey #film #watchmoviesonline #greaselightning #flix #WatchMoviesOnline #MarathiMovies #onj
0 comments:
Post a Comment